Me Too – Part 2

Sexual Harassment

If you read part 1 of the #MeToo series, then you probably noticed a difference between the images and the amount of people that have been sexually harassed. The sexual harassment statistics are so disheartening.

What is Sexual Harassment?

By definition, sexual harassment is unwelcomed sexual advances, sexual language, or other physical behaviors of a sexual nature. The unwelcomed part is the key and I think is the part that causes there to be so much misunderstanding surrounding sexual harassment. Between memes and other narratives floating around on the internet, many men think that sexual harassment really isn’t that big of an issue and is just some hyper-sensitive women complaining about dirty jokes. But that’s not what sexual harassment is.

The Statistics

To get a clearer understanding, here are some statistics about sexual harassment:

  • 81% of women have experienced sexual harassment at work
  • 79% of workplace sexual harassment victims are women, 21% men
  • 67% of women who were sexually harassed at work were sexually touched or worse (dark pink)
  • Only 29% of workplace sexual harassment is reported
  • 75% of those who reported sexually harassment experienced retaliation
  • 1 out of 4 employees have seen another co-worker being sexually harassed but never reported it
  • 1 in 3 men do not think sex when a partner is pressured to give consent is considered sexual assault
  • Someone is sexually assaulted every 98 seconds in the United States
  • 99% of women have been sexually harassed on the street
  • 23% of women were sexually touched when walking down the street, 9% were forced to engage in sexual activities

Men, it isn’t the same for you

I do want to amend that statement to acknowledge that transgender male or females and gay men are excluded from this. Sadly, transgenders are harassed and assaulted more than any other group, with gay men pulling up a close second.

A few questions for you men:

  • How many of you have experienced street harassment?
  • If you were walking down the street and some guy was sexually harassing you, how would you handle it?
  • What if it was a couple of guys and you were by yourself?
  • Or what if you knew without a doubt that you had no way to defend yourself against 2 people that combined had more than 300lbs of weight and strength on you?
  • What if it was a group of guys?
  • How about if all of those guys were significantly larger and stronger than you?
  • Would you handle it the same?
  • Would you fight/argue or would you just try to ignore them and pray that you can escape without any harm?
  • What if while you are ignoring them, they start following you and increase the derogatory comments?
  • What if you know down in your gut that if you engage with them at any level, you will probably be sexually assaulted?

Sexual Harassment happens all the time

These are real concerns that women deal with daily. I cannot even count the number of times I have redirected the route I was taking to avoid having to pass certain people that I saw up ahead. Or drove around endlessly trying to find a closer spot so I wouldn’t have to risk walking by myself for so long.

Recently, I had a moment that epitomized this so clearly. Two of my female friends, a guy friend, and I were leaving a bar. The three of us ladies had come together, so we asked our friend if we could drive him to his car. He laughed and said, I walked here. Not knowing where he lived exactly, we offered to drive him home. Turns out he lived about 3 miles away. The three of us stood there completely stunned. I asked him how often he walks home from bars. He says he always does or takes a Lyft if he’s too intoxicated. Of course, I had to ask him if he’s ever been harassed when walking home, of course, his answer was no. Want to know how many times I’ve been harassed just walking to my car? Probably at least a hundred.

From the Streets to the Workplace

While no one can really argue that rape or sexually touching someone is considered sexual harassment, the truth is harassment comes in a lot of forms. While cat calls, whistling, honking, etc. can be harassing but are often generally harmless, women are so frequently bombarded with vulgar language and sexual requests on the street without there being any way to prevent it (because people keep on walking by and don’t want to say anything or get involved) that it becomes second nature to many men.

I came across this sexual limericks article from the 80’s recently. While they were humorous if taken lightly, the limericks were very degrading to women. If a women liked sex, then the limerick either depicted her as a slut or whore. If she didn’t, she was prude and needed to be taught. These kinds of jokes have been floating around offices for decades now. This “Old Boy” mentality has permeated every facet of life for such a long time, that it’s no surprise that there are so many occurrences of sexual harassment.

It’s not 100% men’s fault

No one wants to be the one that stands up against someone in power to tell them they are wrong. It’s hard. It’s really hard. When you, and maybe a family, too, depend on the income from a job, speaking up and possibly jeopardizing the income is often too high of a risk to take. And with 75% of victims experiencing retaliation, it’s even harder to report it and risk retaliation when the harassment isn’t against yourself.

But when people stand by and let harassment continue, it perpetuates the cycle. While I don’t think it’s possible to eliminate all sexual harassment because some people are just Fuck Boys in general, if more people stand up, especially men, then there will be a decrease in sexual harassment.

If you are seeing someone being harassed, try to say something. You don’t have to call the guy an asshole (even though he is one), but just speaking up and saying that maybe he went too far (and yes, I’m assuming he because over 80% of sexual harassers are men) will help the situation. Maybe he genuinely didn’t realize he’s being a douche bag. Maybe he comes from a family of douche bags, or everyone at his previous places of employment were douche bags. Whatever the reason, he should be made aware and the woman or man that is being harassed will feel the support from you.

Unicorn Upshot:

Big changes are made with small steps

 

References:

What is Sexual Harassment?

1 In 3 Women Has Been Sexually Harassed At Work, According To Survey

23 Statistics on Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

What To Say To People Who Don’t Think Sexual Assault Awareness Month Is Necessary

Stop Street Harassment: Statistics

Stats Say THIS Is Still Too Common in the Workplace

National Statistics on Sexual Violence

RAISING AWARENESS ABOUT SEXUAL ABUSE: Facts and Statistics

Sexual harassment at work: more than half of claims in US result in no charge

How Common Is Sexual Harassment At Work? Almost 1 in 3 Women Have Experienced It, According to A New Poll

 

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