Like half of the single world, I recently got on Tinder. It’s definitely an experience and I really only check it out when I have time or need a good laugh.
My profile is short and to the point and I have a unicorn emoji🦄 on my profile. I’m on there looking for new friends to play with. Within 15 minutes of signing up and swiping left a ton of times and right a few, I had 2 Doms contact me. So I guess the unicorn emoji was doing it’s job. Of course, a unicorn is different for everyone, but I digress.
The other night I got on Tinder and decided to peruse my options. I came across TF1’s profile. I discerned that he was really just after something casual or a one-night stand. His photos indicated that he was hot and as I’m not currently looking for anything more than casual, hooking up with a fun, hot guy goes well with my agenda. Of course, a hot, regular play friend is number one on my Tinder agenda.
Disclosure
Whenever I meet anyone either via Feeld, Tinder, or elsewhere, I immediately inform them of my bisexuality. I’m not sure when the best time to disclose that information is, but I’d rather not meet someone, like each other, then try to figure out how and when to tell them. So after a few get to know you exchanges clarifying that neither of us is looking for more than good, fun sex, I mentioned that I was bisexual. He mentioned that he’s been with lots of girls at once. I started thinking, ooooh, possible new friend for me and my friend Bunny.
Bunny and I have had our share of threesomes together. While a MFF is fun, we both really like MFM. The easiest way for me to get one is actually if we arrange a MFMF where we both bring a guy. Sadly, we’ve come to realize that once a guy gets his MFF, he usually takes off before we can have a MFMF. So before I’ll even consider a MFF threesome with a new guy, I make sure they’re willing to either do a MFM or a MFMF…first. I thought now would be the perfect time to mention that I like to be with multiple girls and multiple guys, preferably at the same time. He immediately said, “Well, then go have a gang bang with 10 guys.”
WTF?!!
Since I’ve recently ventured into the realm of helping people understand different types of sexual situations, I thought it was important that I clarify that none of my experiences with multiple guys (MFM threesomes, foursomes, or moresomes) have not been anything, anywhere similar to a gang bang. All seemed to be received well and we proceeded to exchange some more emails, going a little more in depth to our sexual pasts. When I mentioned being with 2 guys at the same time again, I could feel his assholeness seep through every following text. My Fuckboy radar went on high alert. After a few more exchanges, he suggested I get gang banged again, but he would gladly fuck 4 or 5 of my friends at the same time.
As you can imagine, the conversation ended there.
No Fuckboys Allowed!
It was such a reminder of how many double standards prevail. I could seriously rant and rave about how the porn industry, in general, keeps suppressing women by constantly showing unrealistic scenarios. But it goes so much farther than that.
Our society as a whole sexualizes women.
From movies, to religion, to ads, to music, women are deemed a sexual prize to be won by men. And if you can win more than one, you’re an even better man. Yet there are almost never any mainstream situations where women can or should even entertain the idea of having more than one man. When a man has two women, he’s considered a stud. When a woman has two men, she’s either a whore or a cheater. Even the porn industry that will show a woman with more than one man: it’s either a gang bang situation or she’s a slave to their desires. So rarely do you ever see a woman just enjoying the company of two men.
Then you get a Fuckboy telling you that you should get gang raped (I really don’t see gang bangs as anything more than gang rapes. I might change my mind later, but for now that’s how I feel). No wonder it’s so difficult for a woman to own her sexuality.